I’ve been dabbling in meditation off and on for years but I’ll be honest in that I never really “got” it. I dutifully sit with my eyes closed and try to concentrate on my breath, but my mind was always running wild—which I’m told is normal, right?
The exercise was always helpful in that it did something to calm me down and quiet my mind, but nothing amazing was really coming out of it.
But this morning I think I might have had a minor breakthrough.
I’ve been trying to take it all more seriously lately, both because as I’ve been learning more about anxiety and how it affects me, I’ve been hearing a lot about how helpful meditation can be. And also just for the simple fact that so many people I respect swear by it. There’s gotta be something there, right?
I set my timer for longer than I usually do, 30 minutes. Usually, I do 8-12 minutes, with a 15-minute session being the longest I typically ever do. I just had extra time this morning, so I figured “why not?”.
It all started as usual, with me just sitting there with my eyes closed and my mind running crazy, but somewhere probably around the 25-minute mark, it all started to subtly change. I got this very transcendent feeling, kind of like I was floating. My mind came out of my body and I wasn’t really thinking about anything anymore. My body almost felt light and heavy at the same time. My whole perception of what was around me faded to the background a bit…
I’ve had similar feelings before. Usually, it was a situation where I was out in a very beautiful natural place, there were no other sounds but the sounds of nature, and I would just zone out and lose myself for a bit. I had also experienced a similar thing on psychedelic mushrooms a couple of times many many years ago.
The whole experience was really nice! I feel a different sort of peace now. I’m actually consciously looking forward to my next session, which has never really happened before either.
I know it was at around the 25-minute mark that the change happened because my timer went off shortly thereafter and pulled me out of it.
So my question is, is that it? Did I experience “the thing” that people get out of meditation that brings them back day after day? Have I finally got my first glimpse of that “magic eye”?
Also, if the longer length of time part of the trick? If so, I kinda wish somebody had told me sooner! I always heard that baby steps were good and just doing it for any amount of time was helpful. I guess if understood that you really want to be working yourself up towards a longer length of meditation I would have been more deliberate about that. Or is that sort of more directed coaching anathema to the whole process?
Either way, it felt nice and I feel like I’ve gained a new insight. I’m looking forward to trying it again and seeing how this new insight affects my perception going forward too.
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This is only tangentially related but….