Yesterday was my birthday! The big 44. 😳
In years past I would have had a good-sized park get together but I wouldn't feel safe or ethical doing that this year.
Instead, I went on a couple of hikes and Christine and I had a nice quiet weekend together. She made me an especially adorable birthday garland with pictures of my favorite pup. 🐶
I always feel a little bit lonely and melancholy around my birthday for reasons I can't explain and certainly make no objective sense. No matter how much fun I might have celebrating, there's always a little tinge of sadness intermixed as well.
I think maybe I feel like it's hard for some of us to feel as close to each other as we might want, or as comfortable being special as maybe others would want us to feel. It all contributes to a feeling of wanting something a little bit more than what's accessible. Like a joy you can't fully connect to. That's my theory for where the melancholy comes from at least. The shorter days, colder weather, and the changing season I'm sure contributes too.
I was lucky to have Christine with me, to see a couple of friends in the park, and to spend some time in nature that I really enjoy. We also watched the sunrise and enjoyed a nice little breakfast together. It all helped with that weird little sadness a lot.
I'm sure for a lot of people this season is especially hard. The days are getting shorter and colder. We miss our families, friends, and traditions that hold things together. It's tough with no easy answers either.
My own response to the pandemic has been to hunker down and find the little moments of respite when I can. I see some people carrying on as normal and I just don't think I could do that even if I wanted too...
As soon as it's safe to gather in large groups again I'll definitely pretend it's my birthday and hold a big park gathering. Actually, we probably won't even need the excuse. 😂
I love and miss you all! Thanks for all the birthday wishes too. ♥️
Here are some fun pics from the weekend from my personal Instagram too.